Science Faction (2006)
 

  Babies, Mortgages and Bryan Tour (2004)
 

  Baltic Tour (2003)
Finland
Estonia
Latvia
Lithuania
Volumen 1's Tour Diary


 

  Cries From Space Tour (2002)
 

  We Found Canada Tour (2002)
 

  Emergency Mustache Tour (2001)
 

  How Do You Spell? Tour (2000)
 





  Cries From Space Tour (2002)

(Cries from Space Tour) - toured with ourselves - went west to Eugene, south to San Diego and back home again.

Tour diary by Squared



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Eugene

Before our departure from Portland, we decided it was probably a good idea to get some new tires. We decided to splurge and get four brand spankin' new ones. We weren't all that keen on the idea of having another blow out. We waited a good part of the morning for the tires, only to find out that we needed to get the alignment done somewhere else. They told us it would take several hours, so we decided to hit the town. This brought us to Slammer's Tavern. This place was great! They had video poker to keep Bob, Doug and myself busy...i.e. losing our shorts. For the non-gambling folk (Bacon and Shane) Slammer's offered pinball, cribbage and Jenga. The bartender even made us lil' ham sandwiches for free. What a class act! After getting the alignment and other B.S. work done, we headed to Eugene. It was here that we first noticed the odd sensation the new alignment brought to our adventure. From that point on...till this very day...The Ambulance likes to swerve when you pass someone, take her over 65, or breathe incorrectly. Bob said it best... "It's like driving a billboard!" Despite all the swervy swerve, we made it to Eugene in one piece. Upon arriving in Eugene OR, we quickly discovered the weirdness of the town. Everyone in this town is really nice and/or really high. And not just on that wacky tabbacky kids. We were approached by an interesting fellow, who right off the bat told us it was his birthday...while he quickly rearranged our merchandise table. He said he was a director and kept visualizing everything like it was a movie. (You know when someone makes the little square out of their hands.) This dude pulled out a little piece of plastic and tried to explain how the plastic was him...then he went on to talk about how everything in life is free. He said, "You want weed...just take it. You want booze...just take it. It's free!" Then this clown went to the bar and ordered a Crown Royal and Goldschlager...mixed! That's some wretched action if you ask me. Next this dude came back and asked me if we could talk privately. I figured what the hey...it might be a hoot. He went to the corner of the room and took his shoes off. He propped his feet on the table and asked me to take a seat next to him. I quickly declined, and became more freaked out by the minute. He went on a whole spiel about how we were in the business for the wrong reasons...he could get us whatever we wanted...all he needed was $7000...etc. Finally he told me he worked for a higher power and pointed to hell. I got super freaked out and made a b-line for the door. The actual show went fairly well. There weren't many folks there, but we got compensated appropriately. Oh yeah...they had a new Playboy pinball machine there. That was nice.


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