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Dawn of the Dead
I been saving this one till the end. This movie has everything! Not only
is it post-apocalypse (and not even by Nuclear War), it is also one of the
goriest movies ever. O.K., O.K. Maybe you never seen it... I'll fill you in.
It's part two of Night of the Living Dead. Zombies have taken over the
world. Some hapless adventurers flee in a helicopter and manage to take over a
mall. Bikers come in and try to fight them. Most of them die. They escape in
the end. The End.
But man, it's so much more than that. They manage to secure the mall and
rid it of zombies. Then it is like a scavengers dream come true. They make
whatever food they want. They loot the gun and knife store for all of its
wares. I mean, they have everything they could ever want. Of course they get
bored of it all, which isn't surprising, but I think I could've handled it. Just
let some zombies in every now and then and hunt for them. Sheesh. Maybe take up
a hobby, like naked turtle racing.
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Day of the Dead
This is the third movie in the Night of the Living Dead series. It is my
least favorite. I even like "Night" better, and it's not even Post-Apocalypse.
Still, it has some really neat ideas in it.
The beginning is great, when they check out the abandoned town in Florida.
At least it appears abandoned, but when the heroine starts hollerin', Zombies
come outta the woodwork. It makes me wonder what the zombies are doing when
they aren't wandering the streets, moaning. Do they have meetings, "Allright,
Uggggh has put forward a motion that there be more eating of Flesh. All in
favor, moan.... Wait, I think I hear those pesky humans. All right boys, start
shambling." What the hey?.?.
The best part about this movie is the mad doctor. He performs gruesome
experiments on the poor zombies, and even manages to train one. This reminds
me of a Rifts book I read once. There is this group of vampire hunters, and
their leader, Doc Reid, performs terrible experiments on captured vampires. It
almost gets your sympathy for the undead, course, I'm always rootin' for the
undead anyway, so nevermind.
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Night of the Zombies
You know, I never claimed to be the brightest guy in the world. In fact, I
may just be right above Jim Varney. Anyway, I just saw this 4 days ago and I
can't remember if this is the name of the movie or not. I'll go back and
check, but I figured I'd point out my idiocy to you all.
Anyway, on to the movie. This is your basic, Italian zombie movie. Only,
they didn't have much money for special effects, and they didn't have much
money for film, and they really didn't have much money for actors either.
I say this for several reasons. 1) There is more gratuitous usage of stock
footage than even an Ed Wood movie. I think they managed to get ahold of a
national geographic special on tribes and junk. Because they aren't picky,
there are pygmies, aborigines, massai warriors... you name it. But they are
all supposed to be one group. 2) The zombies are just people with black-face
on. Unless they are black, in which case they have blue-face one. I swear I
am not making this up. 3) In a scene with a device that is measuring something
or other, the readings go "off the scale". This is accomplished by the actor
carrying the device. He merely turns the little knob by the needle and makes
it go "off the scale". This was actually pretty dang funny.
The plot is simple, zombies, tribal anarchy, eco-terrorists, mother earth
revolting, the military and the press. Doesn't that all sound like it should
fit together? Heh heh... blew my mind I tell you. There was nudity in this
movie though... just a touch. For some reason, the heroine in the movie
decides she needs to strip naked and paint her body, to better relate to the
natives... They still tried to eat her.
You may be wondering what this all has to do with the Apocalypse? Well,
that's fair enough I guess. You see, the earth is mad, so it makes a nuclear
power facility (or some such junk) leak poisonous gas. This gas makes everyone
turn into zombies and eat the living. Pretty soon, almost everyone is dead.
OK.. it's weak, but I'm still counting it.
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Zombie
I know this title can mean many different movies, but the one I'm talking about was directed by
the Italian guy, Fulci. He's a real master. I heard it was also released as Zombie 2 and it was
known as a sequel to Dawn of the Dead in Italy. I dunno if any of that is true. Anyway, I saw this a
while back when I was watching Zombie movies like I eat goldfish crackers. I just was reminded by a
friend yesterday that it was post-apocalyptic... So here goes.
Very Dawn of the Dead-ish. Zombies eating humans. Brain shots the only way to kill them. It basically has
our heroes (a group of whiners) stuck on an island with a bunch of dying natives and more zombies.
I never will understand the Zombie/Jungle combination... but i've seen it in lots of movies. The best
part of this movie has a Zombie underwater, fighting a shark. Can you believe that. It's a real shark
too I think. The shark would try and bite the zombie and the zombie would return in kind. Fantastic!
I can't remember who the special effects guy was on this movie, but he made it. There's a real
famous scene that all the kids in the horror circles talk about. Mia Farrow's sister is looking for her
husband, and happens upon a zombie. She runs from him and closes the door on him. He smashes his hand
through the door and there is a big splinter of wood. Then the zombie grabs her head and slowly pulls it toward the
splinter. You watch the splinter actually puncture the eye. I don't know how they did it. It was gross.
Anyway, what does this all have to do with the apocalypse? Well, of course noone can stop the zombies,
so they make it on a boat and get to America. The last scene has them all shambling over the Brooklyn Bridge.
The End.
Editor's Note: Hmm.. I was corrected on this one. Apparently the eyegouge chick wasn't Tisa Farrow, it was
Olga Karlatos. I know, I know, you don't give a rat's ass. Well, believe me, there are
some people out there who get pissed.
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Demons
Heh heh. The floodgates are open now. I'm remembering all these movies that I watched specifically
to review and then completely forgot about. This is why I wouldn't recommend my course of action here to anyone else.
It's killing my brain.
O.K. I seem to remember that Dario Argento had something to do with this movie. And that it was directed by Umberto Bava?
Is this right? I can't remember. I'm suprised I got that much. Anyway, they do a real good thing in this movie
and that is to forget the plot entirely. I mean, really, all the plot ends up doing is cutting into your
zombie-killing time. And we can't have that.
To be fair, they really aren't zombies in this one, they are demons. Only, they look just like evil zombies. So
I think it counts. It's got all these people trapped in a movie theatre (which is possessed) and everytime someone dies
they turn into a demon. Then demons run wild and kill everyone. Sure, it sounds like pretty much every zombie
movie ever made, but it is post-apocalyptic.. and brother what an ending.
A guy and girl make it outta the theatre and are immediately picked up by a hick father-son combo who are heading
for the hills, armed to high heaven. The best part is they have this blonde daughter who is a real knockout. The whole gang of
them drive away in their jeep and shoot demons along the way. It was the happiest post-apocalyptic ending I've ever seen.
I was really rootin' for Jimmy Hero, I tell you what.
So, watch this one if you like to see demons eating humans and decent effects. But if you don't mind no plot.
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